Hearing of the unfolding journey of Susan Boyle, the woman with a beautiful singing voice who came in second in the Britain’s Got Talent show, got me to thinking about the importance of kindness.  Susan became a media darling, with the usual overwhelming presence and crush of photographers and interviews, along with the inevitable shift from positive press to negative, critical comments about her.  When I hear of experiences like these, I’m reminded of times in my own life when I’ve been on television, or been at a book signing, where people sometimes respond in either an idealizing way or with criticism that’s not gentled by kindness. 

There’s a strange thing that happens when someone becomes a public figure – it’s as though we forget that the person has feelings, is made of the same emotional stuff as we, and can be hurt as readily as we are.  It’s as though the other person becomes an object of some sort and that it’s okay to act out impulsive or unconscious interpersonal responses that arise in us.

Whenever I’ve run into this kind of situation, I think about the importance of kindness in how we treat one another on a daily basis.  Would any of us want someone we love to be in Susan Boyle’s position, in terms of how she’s been treated by the media and public?  Sure, the celebration of her is a wonderful thing, but the harsh criticism, gossip, and negative press are sources of deep injury.  I can only imagine how it feels to be loved one day and criticized the next on such a large scale.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I want to again invite all of us to focus on how we express kindness in our lives.  It’s an opportunity to pay attention to what you want to say or do with someone else, to take a moment to check in with yourself, and to ask yourself if there is kindness in what you’re about to say or do.  It doesn’t mean not to give corrective feedback or defend yourself when you need to.  Instead, it’s more about the day-to-day interactions you may have with family, friends, people on the street, your dry cleaner, check-out people at the store – with whomever you may encounter along the way in the course of your daily activities.

Making kindness a habit not only offers a gift to others, it also enhances the quality of life you experience from the inside.  It feels good to be kind.  When you make kindness a habit, it becomes very clear when it’s missing from an interaction where it was needed, and so there are constant opportunities to return to kindness and do better next time.

As with all these experiments, this one is yet another invitation to practice living consciously, with an awareness of how you move through the world and how your choices affect your quality of life.  Remember to bring curiosity along as your constant companion and to allow judgments to move on through – like a puffy white cloud on a windy day - without giving them any added energy.