This is a good time of the year to begin thinking about how we’d like to engage the coming cycle. In place of New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to offer “New Year’s Intentions” instead. At a recent lecture, I heard someone speak about the power of self-forgiveness – of recognizing the inevitability of each of us having something in our history that causes us shame – something we’ve kept hidden or don’t want others to know about us. The main point of the lecture was that these aspects of our experience are inevitable and inescapable. We all have something, at the very least one thing and probably many more, that cause us deep shame. The challenge we each face in our own ways is how we are going to relate to these sources of shame.

For this week’s experiment, I invite you to see what happens when you forgive yourself for past actions that cause you shame. It helps to remember that we all have had similar experiences of some kind or another. There’s no one I know who is free from shame about something they’ve done in the past. The experiences that cause you shame may have to do with things you actually did that you don’t feel good about, or things you didn’t do that you wish you had. It doesn’t matter. All represent what it means to be human. The key thing is how we move through these inevitable transgressions.

As with all experiments, please engage this one with an open curiosity and a willingness to be open to whatever you discover along the way. There are no right answers here, no outcomes that are necessary or inevitable. Rather, there’s an opportunity to notice how it feels when you actively offer yourself forgiveness for past transgressions.

If you find yourself struggling with the idea of forgiving yourself, think of it as a way to bring yourself fully into the present moment. When we become locked in an old memory or an old shame, we no longer inhabit the present moment. So, the gift of forgiveness of any kind is that it frees us up to be fully here and now.