I’ve just returned from a visit with a friend who has been diagnosed with a variant of Alzheimer’s disease.  I’ve known her since we were six years old, and found myself wanting just to hold her and never leave.  She’s still the person I have always known, and she remembers most things, but she is also different, and I know that by the time I see her again, her condition may well have changed dramatically.  Losing her by inches is painful for everyone concerned and anyone who has had the experience of loving someone with progressive dementia will understand that pain.

Among other things, the experience got me to thinking about how easily many of us take important relationships for granted, especially with those people we’ve known for a long time, those who have just always been part of our lives.  I make it a practice to say “I love you” to those close to me each time we speak, as a way of remembering to honor and acknowledge their ongoing importance in my life.  It offers me a way to keep in the front of my mind that no one is around forever and that I want to embrace those who are important to me in a conscious and active way. 

A number of people in my life have a habit of leaving little messages on my answering machine at the beginning of the day just to let me know they’re thinking of me.  By the time I get to my office, the messages are usually there, waiting, and it’s a delightful way to start a busy day.  One friend often calls with a poem, which is a special treat.  Over the years, I have developed the habit of doing the same thing.  Walking across Central Park in the morning, I may make two or three calls to answering machines to leave a good-morning message for people I care about – often on their office machines.  It’s a way to stay in touch and feel connected even in the midst of a hectic schedule.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to think about the people in your life who are important to you, even if you don’t see them all the time.  Do you take the time to tell them you love them?  Do you make sure to reach out and say hello, even in those times when life seems to demand all your time and attention?  There’s nothing more to do with this experiment – just to be aware of the people you care about and to take the time to let them know that.  It’s so easy in this busy world to take things and people for granted – to wait ‘till “later” to do or say the things you want to convey.  Visiting my friend – who may not have a “later” she will remember – reinforced my awareness of the importance of communicating love and care now, in the present moment, while the opportunity exists.