2022 August Meditation

Often as I walk through Central Park, I thank workers along the way for the help they offer in keeping the park a wonderful place to spend time. Yesterday I thanked a worker and he said, “We love this park, so we love this work.”  This morning I thanked a garbage man for helping to make our city more livable.  I always thank the postal carriers at both my office and at home when I see them, along with people from all the various delivery services that bring packages filled with things that make my life work.  Without these people, life would be very different.  

As I move through New York City, I pay attention to people whose job it is to support the rest of us, people who help make our lives easier to navigate.  For this week’s practice in conscious living, I invite you to do the same and, if you are already someone who thanks people along the way, ramp it up a bit and see how that feels.  Gratitude brings its gifts not only to those we thank but to us, as well. It has the power to lift our spirits, as well as those who receive gratitude from us.  

Our sense of well-being is nourished when we engage in expressing gratitude to the people around us.  We are more likely to remember that we are part of a community and that, without the whole community, we wouldn’t be able to live our lives in the ways we do. This awareness of community can also remind us of the underlying interdependence that is fundamental to human existence.  We depend on one another for just about every aspect of our lives and taking the time to thank people we don’t know and may never see again helps to reinforce an awareness of just how much we need one another.

As I write this practice, it is vigorously snowing outside and I am deeply grateful to be tucked in and warm. As I watch the snow fall, I find myself pondering something that came up recently and that is the relationship between, and differences around, being and doing. 

This got me to thinking about the importance of how we be and that our being is so much more important than our doing. That doesn’t mean doing doesn’t play a significant role in how we engage and impact the world, but it seems to me that the bottom line really focuses on the quality and tone of our being.

I’ve said before that our internal self-talk is a form of self-hypnosis and that the quality of our self-talk plays a major role in determining the quality of our internal life, of our felt-sense of who and how we are in the world. There are many practices that invite us to track our self-talk, along with suggestions as to how we might shift from self-critical internal conversations to those that reflect acceptance, support, and gratitude for who and how we are. Some are from cognitive therapy approaches and some are from the ever-expanding influence of mindfulness practices.

For this week’s practice, first, I invite you to become even more aware of the internal conversations you have with yourself and to notice how these moments of self-talk affect you. Do they lift you up and make you feel more able to engage the world, to dive into activities and projects that nourish you, to help you settle into a deeper sense of comfort with yourself? Or, do these moments of self-talk drag you down, generate shame, or make you feel that you want to avoid connecting with your world?

I’m in the process of preparing a webinar for professionals on the subject of cultivating a sense of connection with the world around us. One of the things we contribute ongoingly, but usually unconsciously, is the essence, the quality of being that emanates from us in every moment, wherever we are, whatever we’re doing. We add to the quality of the world around us by the qualities we radiate into our environment.

I’ve mentioned many times about the importance of the frequencies with which we resonate. So this practice will be a reminder to many of you, and I figure we can’t be reminded enough to pay attention to the frequencies with which we resonate in any given moment. For example, if we resonate with the quality of kindness, chances are that we will emanate that frequency into our environment and into the interactions we have with others along the way. Because of this, we may discover that we encounter kindness from others more often than we might otherwise experience. If we resonate with a quality of irritation or anger, chances are that we will emanate that frequency throughout ourselves and into our environment, and it will have an impact on the quality of our interactions with others as we move through any given day. Frequencies, qualities, essences matter.

I want to make a distinction between upsetting moments, jarring experiences, and blissful times of elation and the fundamental qualities/frequencies/essences with which we resonate on a deeper and more habitual basis. We all have moments of shifting emotions and up-and-down qualities of self-talk. That’s inevitable. What we can cultivate, though, is a foundation of qualities that we consciously choose, frequencies with which we want to resonate, frequencies/qualities we want to radiate within ourselves and out into the world around us.