Author: Nancy Napier

I find myself continually returning to a commitment to express kindness as I move through each day. In a world filled with contention and disasters, it can be hard to remember to stand on a foundation of kindness rather than a foundation of fear or upset. There are a couple of concepts in psychology related to the developing understanding of what is called “memory reconsolidation”, which is how our brain adds new information to old learning. Drawn from the teachings of Juliane Taylor Shore, our experiences generate the “psychological floor we stand on” and the quality and tone of our “emotional knowing,” which I think of as a filter through which we understand self and the world. While I’m not going to go into these dynamics here, I want to draw on the idea of the “psychological floor we stand on” and our “emotional knowing” as we think about kindness and how we express it in our world. 

In the psychological sense, these dynamics are unconscious and automatic. For the purposes of this week’s practice in conscious living, I’d like to propose that if we consciously hold the intention to stand on a “psychological floor of kindness” and hold the intention that we will look at the world through a filter of kindness, our everyday actions and states of mind would more naturally orient toward experiences and expressions of qualities of kindness.

When you imagine internally standing on a psychological floor of kindness, what comes into your awareness and experience? Are there images that arise? What physical sensations do you experience when you imagine standing on this “floor” of awareness? Spend a few minutes simply resonating with the quality of kindness and notice what else comes into your experience.

When you imagine viewing and interpreting the world through a filter characterized by kindness, what kinds of thoughts and emotions arise in you? Do mixed feelings arise, as well? How do your thoughts and feelings register in your body? Do you find yourself more settled, your heart more open or do you find yourself pulling back from what you experience?

I haven’t posted a practice in conscious living for a few weeks now, as life has intervened with some challenges that have required my deep attention. As I’ve thought about this recent time, I want to share a practice I have engaged that may be useful to describe.

One of the sweet feline family members who live with me has required medical attention and I found myself faced with having to give him a subcutaneous infusion for hydration every day, to support what his kidneys can’t currently do efficiently right now. My relationship with needles has mostly been around experiences of blood draws, shots, and acupuncture, but I haven’t been the one managing the needles. So, I found myself dealing with some anxiety about having to use a needle each day to deliver the hydration to my dear feline.

Moving through this experience reminded me of the importance of grounded, steady presence and of being mindfully connected to this present moment. I decided to take on the daily process as a spiritual practice, bringing awareness, calm, and love to something that would allow my furry family member to survive. Along with focusing in my heart and connecting with my love of this sweet being, I have asked myself to track my internal state so that I am calm and centered during the infusions. Even as I give the infusions, I track my body and go back into calm if I find myself tensing or becoming anxious. Gently breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth helps to return to a more settled state and I sense how that state in me helps my furry friend to relax a bit more.

And so, for this week’s practice in conscious living, I invite you to notice whatever challenge may come into your life that requires you to dig a little deeper, perhaps into your capacities, your emotions, your ability to stay grounded in the presence of something that might be upsetting, etc. Then, notice what you experience when you choose to take on the challenge as a spiritual or psychological practice where you can develop some new or deepened skill or response that helps you move through the experience.